This Is What It Is Like To Go Deaf

September 5, 2018Filed under: Stories

    Old Typwriter 2

This is what it is like to go deaf.

Imagine if you were walking down the street, you’re feeling alert and awake, but someone taps you on the back of your shoulder to say hello, and you jump out of your skin because you had no idea whatsoever they were there.

This is what it is like to go deaf.

It can be dangerous too, I mean you try to cross the street, you look either way for traffic and you start walking, as you get closer to the other side of the road a car suddenly appears out of nowhere and is about to run you over, you then have to leap out of the way or face serious consequences.

This is what it is like to go deaf.

Imagine what it’s like to be in a social situation, drinking, having fun, sharing anecdotes, seeing who can make each other laugh the most, but you keep on having to ask, “I’m sorry what was that?” because you can’t hear what they are saying. People make fun of you but you can’t hear that either, so you ask them again what they said, but they just respond with “nothing”, and look at one another laughing. No one enjoys being the joke of others in a group, but it’s far worse when you don’t have the ability or choice to actually hear what they say, let alone a chance to respond.

This is what it is like to go deaf.

Imagine what it’s like to meet someone at a bar who has laughter in her eyes, you like her, and she likes you, except you’re hanging out with your mate, and he likes her too. But she’s clearly interested in you. So your friend, knowing about your ear disease, and in an attempt to get her away from you, asks her to go inside to the loud dance floor.

At the idea of dancing she stands up and looks straight at you excitedly, expecting, thinking you are coming too, but you have to tell her, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” You try to explain you have problems with your ears and it’s too loud in there for you and would hurt too much, but she just thinks you’re not interested in her and that you’re just blowing her off. You say you will wait outside for her.  They go inside, they dance, they kiss, they never come back.

You’re standing there, on your own, looking at them through the glass window, a window made of tiny shards that could now be your heart.

This is what it’s like to go deaf.